Summer 2018 want to watch – shower me in mediocrity and cliché

It’s that time of the year again. The time where we ask ourselves – what shitty shows are they gonna come up with and is it really worth gambling my time with this? As always, fingers crossed that we manage to avoid sucky high school romances, badly animated fights and boring MMO-inspired series.

 

Without further ado, Ruki’s list of “god let this be good” for the Summer 2018 season, ranked based on hype level:

No. 1 – Satsuriku no Tenshi

Based on Angels of Death, a very positively rated RPG on Steam that…I didn’t get to play yet. : |

“Her only wish is to find a good way to die” – ME TOO GURL HIGH FIVE WE’RE LIKE BESTIES I FEEL YOU

This has been on my wishlist for quite a long time now, but I never got around to actually buy and play it. Given the situation at hand, I’m at least 93.7% sure that I will want to play the game before actually watching the anime so I can comment on how it relates to the original material. Damn, I wish they would animate more RPGs. First we got the announcement for To the Moon and now this. I like where this is going.

No. 2 – Hi Score Girl

Honestly, the presentation picture is the main reason I want to watch this – the character design looks appealing af. The other reason is the fact that it’s supposed to have nerd characters and you know I’m a sucker for those. But really, CG animation? Kinda off putting, tbh. Also, there’s this poor guy whose only good thing in life is the fact that he’s good at video games and then there’s this bitch, this supreme bitch who has everyting and she decides to take that away from him as well by beating him in every game. How’s this life fair, I ask you, and how should one not kermit suicide given the circumstances?

No. 3 – Back Street Girls

Guys. Come on. Back Street Girls? Back Street Boys? Haha, get it? Three ass-grown yakuza men as girl idols? This…this better be good. I mean, come on. We got fucking Roman statues as idols in the past, I’m pretty sure they will be able to turn this one into something acceptable. I want to see real struggle and the real (???) problems that the situation would imply. High quality content right here. God bless.

No. 4 – Banana Fish

I’ll be super honest. I highly think this is gonna turn out to be the best series out of everything listed here. Why? Because it’s the most promising. Do I want this to be the best? No, obviously not. I want Angels of Death to deliver and to deliver good. But it definitely sounds like something I would very much enjoy and I’m pretty pumped up. Feed me good stories and tell me I’m a good boy. Ring-ring-ring-ring – Banana Fiiish.

Sheesh, what a shitty title, smh.

No. 5 – Chio-san no Tsuugakuro

I expect this to be a gag series, pretty much like Nichijou or shit. If it turns out not to be it, I guess there’s not much to lose. But I really do miss some random weird humour, maybe I should give Pop Team Epic a second chance. Let me just pray to whatever god there is that it will amuse us.

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• I will also probably end up watching the third season of AoT if I get my shit together and finish the second one.
• I initially added Island on this list as well because the plot made it sound sorta interesting, but it has an initial score of 2.7 after the first episode came out. Life’s too short to deal with this shit.
• Castlevania Season 2? Can this be considered anime? This is Netflix, why is it on anime-planet? Why can’t they pronounce Târgovişte correctly? That ain’t even Romania, bitch. Also, no matter what you’re trying to do, Netflix, you’ll never manage to make something better than Neo Yokio. Word.

TL;DR – Binbougami ga!

• Comedy
• Breaking The Fourth Wall
• Contemporary Fantasy
• Gods
• Parody
• School Life
• Supernatural

Featuring:

Oppai-chan

Me, but with a nicer personality

Nigga that’s so fucking kawaii

I’m only here so that there’s some romantic interest, but I’m useless af

Weird Japanese porn

17 other anime to make things fun

Plot wise

Oppai-chan is so fucking lucky she scares the gods. Like the bitch got everything going on for her and I hate her so much, just like you will. The gods decide to send Me, but with a nicer personality to drain away her fortune so she would stop being a threat to everyone around her. Everything else is simply irrelevant, but it will make you laugh. Especially breaking the 4th wall and calling on the power of 17 other anime to make things fun.

Verdict

“I lmao’d so hard my ass is flatter than Momiji’s chest” – Ruki, 2018

“Dude, what the fuck is this series about?” – Individual I recommended this to, 2018

The Salty Anime Challenge day 4 – The first anime that you hated and/or dropped

Oh, my. Look at all this nostalgia assaulting me. Why can’t I handle all these memories of I don’t give a fuck because I’m in middle school and I don’t find it interesting if it doesn’t have anime fights in it.

I was thinking that maybe I should browse my lists once again because my memory clearly doesn’t help. But there’s no need for it.

You see, back in the days I would watch anything anime. Does it have big eyes and speaks a language I clearly don’t and will never understand? Oh fuck, I’m gonna watch it like there’s no tomorrow. Until one day. One day I was watching Animax, the only channel that would broadcast anime in my country and there was this show. Again. Boring as fuck. So boring, I realized I never actually paid attention to it. Nothing ever happened, the main character was an idiot with no brain, afraid to speak and all that. It also had a horrible add. It was Kamichu!

Maybe I should start feeling bad for adding series I can’t talk much about. But it’s a challenge about anime I think was bad, of course I did myself a favor and either didn’t watch them or I completely erased them from memory. Life’s too short to deal with too much shit.

Kamichu! is that super plain and boring slice of life, mixed with a bit of fantasy. But imagine how poorly it had to be made if it wasn’t of interest for a fifth grader obsessed with anime who also didn’t have much to choose from. For real now.

I don’t remember much except for the fact that the protagonist seemed dumb, was afraid to talk, seemed to be constantly on (the bad kind of) drugs and she had a crush on her classmate. I think the character design and the overall animation put me off in the first place, but the story didn’t do any good either. I was too bored to even consider it a deal with it until it’s time for Inuyasha show. I think I liked to watch the news better. And that says a lot if you think about the fact that I was in motherfucking fifth grade.

Of course I didn’t watch it to the end. I have no idea what’s going on. They were making chocolate in an episode. They were going to school a lot. There were mountains. First show I’ve ever dropped. And it was as easy as changing the channel. Man, life used to be much simpler back in 2005.

I now find it ironic that my first disliked series was part of what was going to become my favorite genre. But shit happens to everyone.

What kind of drugs are these people on?

 

 

 

The Salty Anime Challenge day 3 – Anime with an over 8 rating on MAL that you disliked

Alright, alright. First of all, this is pure discrimination. How many times do I have to tell you people that I don’t use MAL? I’ve been an anime-planet fan since 2013, as it appears, and I will probably not switch to MAL unless they screw up like…reeeeeeal bad.

So I had to, yet again, sort my watched list based on my lowest rating, check the actual rating and then go check MAL to see their rating. Do you fuckers know how inconvenient that is for a person as lazy as I am?

But let’s get into today’s stuff. One anime with a rating over 8 than I disliked. First thing that came to mind (and thank god it was rated over 8) is, of course, Honey and Clover.

I talked a bit of shit about the series on this blog on two separate occasions (Top 5 most hated anime series and 5 anime series that are not worth the hype) and I also got some shit in return from you, guys, saying that I’m an insensitive bitch and that I shouldn’t bash such a beautiful masterpiece.

Well…it’s still shit to me. With the high risk of repeating myself, this was one of the most boring series I’ve laid eyes upon. I found the story to be bland, the characters to be unappealing and annoying, the love triangle to be a big joke and the situations overall unrealistic and exaggerated.

I did not find one relatable thing or something that would make me feel things. I still find it weird how, in the span of multiple years covered in the series, everyone remained basically the same, there was no character development and everything was so. fucking. slow. Dear god just kill me.

It’s a pretty one, I’ll give it that. Not a big fan of the character design in particular, but it’s pleasing to the eye and has a nice animation, especially for something that came out in 2005. But it still doesn’t compensate for the lack of actual story and essence. To me, it was just one of those titles that seemed to try too hard (I’m looking at you, Bakemonogatari), only to massively fail in the end.

Would I recommend this to anyone? Nope. Do I regret watching it? Also no. Even bad experiences are experiences and, after all, it did do one good thing: it was the subject of today’s challenge.

That being said, what’s the one popular anime you didn’t like?

To the Moon game confirmed to get an anime adaptation

Freebird’s director Kan Gao sent out the news himself in a Youtube video and, although he wasn’t able to give out too many details, what he told sounds promising as fuck: a collaboration between China and Japan, two major companies involved and a budget higher than Kimi no Na wa.

Please, dear gods of whatever the hell you are, let it be CoMix Wave Inc.

If you’ve played this game, you’re probably as hyped as I am. If you didn’t play it yet, you can get emotionally stabbed for only 8 euro on Steam and then get as hyped as I am.

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I discovered To the Moon during my neverending quest of finding great stories and sad games. People were mentioning this everywhere and, despite popular opinion, I do sometimes take into consideration what the masses say. So let’s take a moment to talk about the game, shall we?

You take control of doctors Rosalene and Watts – two people with rather odd jobs: fulfilling last wishes. They do so by entering their patients’ minds and implanting what I guess you could call fake memories so that, by the time they draw their last breath, they will have achieved their lifetime goals. And there’s Johnny – a dying old man whose wish is, of course, to go to the moon.

This, of course, is no easy task for the doctors as they have to reach the very core of the wish, the one point in time that triggered it and the real reason behind it. And so we are thrown into this emotional rollecoaster that Johnny’s life was. Mind you, tears will be shed.

But I somehow feel my vocabulary is too limited for me to able to explain to a full extent what makes this game so great. It’s a remarkably well written story, filled with witty lines, gorgeous characters, smart plot twists and an absolutely impeccable soundtrack that has the power to bring you on the verge of emotional collapse every time you hear it after finishing the game. It’s an amazing piece of art that has, in an instant, managed to get high up on my list of all time favourite games.

To the Moon will touch you in places you never knew existed and it will drain your tears. It will leave you broken, thinking about every decision you’ve taken and every decision you’ll take from now on. It’s a perfect metaphor for what is life? and what does really matter for us? There’s too much emotion to be contained in 16-bit and you will simply become a vessel for feelings.

At this point, you might think that I’m on drugs again and that I’m just menstruating over here. I promise you that’s not the case. You can’t even call it a bias, given that it’s been sooo long since I played this game. But you have to trust me, it’s an absolute masterpiece and you need it.

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I will stop praising To the Moon now. I will just continue being excited for the anime adaptation and wish the best of luck to everyone involved in the production. I believe in you!

PS: You can follow @tothemoonanime on Twitter for updates.

The Salty Anime Challenge day 2 – A popular and/or hyped anime that you didn’t care for

Aaah, the always right taste of the masses. I think I sometimes actively avoid certain series just because they’re way too hyped. I’m a small hipster, what can I say?

There’s Naruto that I’ve never cared for. There’s Bleach. But, most notable, there’s Sword Art Online.

For whatever reason, the “normal people stuck in a MMORPG” concept has never appealed to me. MMORPGs in general didn’t appeal to me, but it’s worse in anime. Maybe that’s the reason. Maybe I see it as an enhanced, more annoying type of MMORPG boredom that’s exaggerated.

I wish there was more I could say about this series. You know, maybe it’s great. I mean, whenever I end up watching something that’s highly praised, I end up with an “aaaaah, that’s what everyone was talking about” feeling. Because yeah, they wouldn’t be so popular if they weren’t at least somehow good.

But I don’t care about this series. I have it on my want to watch list, but I’m 97.8% sure I’ll never actually watch it. It’s just something that doesn’t ring any bell for me. It doesn’t float my boat. It does’t tickle my pickle.

There’s nothing I can curse at in today’s challenge. Because I don’t know the series. But I sure as hell know I’m not going to watch it anytime soon and if I hear one more person in the office going “OMG SAO IS JUST SO GREAT I MEAN OH JEE YOU DIDN’T WATCH IT WHAT ARE YOU”, I’m gonna slap a hoe.

What’s the one super popular anime series that you don’t give a crap about?

Night in the Woods – Should you play it?

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past two years or so, you probably heard about Night in the Woods. It’s one of those games that everyone hyped around and talked about. One of those games that I add to my wishlist with the clear intent of purchasing and playing, but that also has a high chance of becoming just another title in a list I only ever rarely revisit.

Right now, I’m only sad to say I wish I played it sooner.

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Mae is a cat college drop-out, returning home to what she thinks is her old, high school life: cozy house, loving parents, good friends, mischief and a carefree life. But, as she arrives home, a former mining town, she starts realizing that…time changes everything.

Her favourite restaurant is no longer there. The mall she used to spend time in is now almost empty. Her old friends are not the same either, each of them trying to survive in the grown up world. The crumbling economy of a crumbling city has slowly decided each of their paths: Beatrice, who was supposed to go to college and do her things had to take over her family’s business. Greg, Mae’s best friend, has left behind his life of crimes and is now working 7/7 on a minimum wage so he can afford to move out with his long-time boyfriend and start a family. And then there’s Mae, the college drop-out pretending she’s knows what adulting is.

Slowly, she realizes that, not only did things change, but she has to find a path for herself as well. And also, there’s something in the woods. Something that might be the root cause of some terrible events the town doesn’t seem to notice or care for.

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Guys, this game is not about the main story itself. That’s simple: Mae gets back home, there’s spoopy things happening, she has to see what’s going on and solve the mystery. How many other games out there are built on the same idea? Several.

What the game does best is creating relatable as fuck characters and situations. Never have you played something that can hit so close to home and it does so with impeccable writing. It’s impossible to play Night in the Woods without going several times like “me tbh”. And I think that’s amazing and scary at the same time.

Deep down, it’s a story about growing up, leaving your teen years behind and learning how to handle responsibilities. It tackles topics such as friendship, depression, money problems, lack of perspective, love life hardships and finding your path. Lastly, this is a game about failure. And not necessarily overcoming it, but learning to accept and understand who you are. Night in the Woods is about coming to terms with yourself.

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If you’re here to master the mechanics, it might not be for you. There’s some platforming involved, for exploration purposes and there are some minigames that you can always play if you want to be the best bassist in the world. However, if you ever wanted to see parts of yourself on the screen, then you’re in the right place.

Possum Springs is a beautiful town, full of interaction. While doing your daily rounds, go talk to the teenagers or your old teacher. Go feed the rats. Run up the hill and kick some leaves or make fun of your aunt. And the charming views are paired with an incredible soundtrack. The dream part was my favourite. It’s amazing, I swear. Here’s a sample. You’re welcome.

One playthrough is not enough for you to discover the whole game. You can always hang out with Greg and Bea, but (and I loved this detail) only with one of them each day. The clock’s ticking and the adults have to do their adult stuff. They don’t always have the time to run around with you. It’s amazing how everyone in the game is acting like a real life person. No bullshitting. Reality is reality. And, as a last mention here, I find it extraordinary how, even the supernatural aspect of the game is drawn from real life problems. 10/10 relatableness.

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Why did Night in the Woods appeal to me so much? (I wouldn’t be Ruki if I didn’t talk about myself for a bit). I’m also an university drop-out. I had the exact same talks with my parents as Mae had with hers: I wasted money they could’ve put to good use. I gave up the plans they had for me and I have no clear path for the future. I gave up what I was supposed to do, just to run around aimlessly, apparently showing no clear understanding of what responsibilities are. I left my home town when I was about 15, never to return for more than a week a year.

At the same time, I can relate to Beatrice as well. For I finally learned that I have to take care of myself and I refused to go back to the comfort of my home and my childish hopes and dreams. At the same, Greg is that part of me that knows I have to work for the future and for a better self.

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All in all, whether or not you are Mae, Beatrice, Greg or parts of them combined, it’s still a story you will enjoy going through. Because it’s real af. And it’s also funny, pretty to watch and has awesome music.

Should you play this? Definitely.

The Salty Anime Challenge day 1 – Least favourite anime

You know, at first I went to anime-planet and sorted my watched list from lowest rated to best rated. And I was surprised to see I don’t really hate anything there. I mean, I rated Mars of Destruction a horrible 0.5/5 because I couldn’t go lower, but that’s so bad it’s actually funny.

And then I figured. Why am I so dumb? You gotta go to the dropped section, you fucktard. See what you weren’t able to stand through.

And there I found it. The one fuckery I was hoping I would forget about. The one massive shit I chose to erase from my memory so that the cancer leaves my eyes and soul.

FUUKA

I have no idea how I managed to watch 5 episodes out of this abomination.

I always think diomedea shows are great. They always look good, are well animated and have a nice artwork. And then I remember. They’re shit. They fucking released Mayoiga and Yumekuri, for goodness’ sake, what am I expecting here?

So Fuuka. Where do I even begin? Everything’s horrible. The main character, this little blue haired bitch is obnoxious, annoying and an absolute attention whore. AND SHE DOESN’T HAVE A CELL PHONE OMG HOW HORRIBLE LET’S PUT THAT IN THE PLOT OMEGALUL

The protagonist has shit instead of brains and acts like the kind of person that shouldn’t be allowed to cross the street on his own.

THE BAND! The most pathetic, overreacted and the worst idea in the history of ideas maybe ever. That was so bad. We have a saying here  – like a nut in the wall – that’s what the band thing was. A fucking nut in the wall. Absolute garbage of a show.

The romance – maybe it’s time WordPress implemented a format for sarcasm. How am I supposed to write about the romance in this show without a format for sarcasm?! tl;dr: it’s shit and they should be ashamed of it.

So there you have it. Instead of least favourite anime, I managed to turn this into most hated anime. Ruki, the topic bender. I’m a god and you can’t prove otherwise.

The Salty Anime Challenge (the comeback is real)

Okay, alright, so.

Just because I don’t write here anymore, doesn’t mean I don’t stalk the interwebs from the shadows. I sometimes like your stuff, I sometimes comment and I sometimes fucking bookmark that shit. ’cause I see some interesting stuff on your blogs.

And, so you see, I was patiently scrolling my wordpress when I saw something magnificent: Otaku Orbit doing the Salty Anime Challenge!

Yeah, man! That’s gonna be it. It was the 30 Days Anime Challenge that got me writing again last time. And if it worked once, it’s probably gonna work twice. Besides, this is gonna be even more epic because I absolute love bitching about shit.

So here goes! The Salty Anime Challenge, ready to serve!

Day 1: Least favorite anime

Day 2: A popular and/or hyped anime that you didn’t care for

Day 3: Anime with an over ‘8’ rating on MAL that you disliked

Day 4: The first anime that you hated and/or dropped

Day 5: What is something that you would change in your least favorite anime that would make you like it?

Day 6: A show that you wanted to like (due to the synopsis) but couldn’t

Day 7: A character that ruined (or almost ruined) a show for you

Day 8: Least favorite genre(s)

Day 9: Least favorite anime trope(s)

Day 10: What is something that you dislike about a show you love?

Day 11: Least favorite art style or art technique

Day 12: Least favorite male/female/sidekick character

Day 13: A sad anime that made you feel nothing

Day 14: An anime that shouldn’t have been as long as it was

Day 15: In terms of story, characters, animation, voice acting, etc… what is something that you find yourself always avoiding?

Day 16: Least favourite OP or ED

Day 17: An anime that you have no desire to watch, even though it’s popular

Day 18: An unpopular anime that deserves being unpopular

Day 19: Least favorite -dere character

Day 20: What is an anime argument that you absolutely hate hearing?

Day 21: An anime that you thought you’d hate (due to genre/tropes), but actually love

Day 22: An anime that everyone hates and/or has a low score, but you love

Day 23: What is one last thing that you’d like to be salty about?

That being said, let’s get started. My phalanges are ready for typing, even if my brain is not ready for thinking.

PS: I know I linked it above, but do make sure that you’re checking out Otaku Orbit for their awesome content, if you weren’t already. Definitely worth it!

Ruki is watching Spring 2018. WADU HECK IS THIS?

Why? How? Why did I decide to come back at such a time?

Yes, Ruki. You need more anime in your life. You’ve been slacking off. You crave that mineral.

WELL EXCUSE MYSELF

 

That’s it. New year, new anime.

1. Go to animu planet
2. Sort by rating
3. ???
4. Get confoos

12 series over 4/5.

12 (twelve)!!!11111!!11

Out of 75 listed. Next 3 rows over 3. That’s sum other 18 series over 3/5. Rest of it, god have mercy.

Not to mention that, out of the 12 series above 4, about 10 of them are sequels. How am I supposed to do well? What the hell is going on and where is the high quality stuff?

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Moving right along. Probably the reason for which I felt the need to come back to watching anime like misery itself is Full Metal Panic! Invisible Victory. Aww yiiis, darlings. FMP – one of the first series I truly liked.

It’s back! Childhood feelings!

*pulls out papyrus* We got…uhm…Kagami, Gargamel, Tessa Tortoise and erm…Krillin. Yes! The gang is back and they have robots!

Holy shit, you guys. I can’t remember a thing! I know Gargamel is a soldier. And Kaname was naked at some point. And Fumoffu was kinda funny.

I’m not saying it’s bad. No, please! Come back with new episodes of oldies, pl0x. (Still waiting for some more D.Gray-man and, maybe in this life – some Nana). But, really now. I will have to rewatch the first seasons because I genuinely have no idea what Kaname’s power was and why are the bad guys bad and what is everyone trying to achieve. But, you know, it looks pretty.  I wish my aim in PUBG was as good as Gargamel’s. I rate this series 5/7.

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Wotakoi: Love is Hard for Otaku

Will this come as a surprise? Say it, Ruki. You can do it.

I actually like this. It has an incredibly silly plot, but I just can’t help myself. Show me something that has otaku characters in it that I didn’t like. I challenge you.

Actually, come to think of it. I’m not sure I like this because it has otaku characters or because THEY’RE NOT IN FUCKING HIGHSCHOOL ANYMORE. Or because it’s, you know, kinda pretty. Whichever reason, I think I’m prolly gonna enjoy this a lot. Tbh, I didn’t expect the first episode to escalate the way it did (again, this is me trying to avoid spoilers), but maybe that’s for the best. I want to see some development and evolution. I want to see adults trying to adult. Is it too much to ask for relatable characters in anime? We shall see. Totally giving this a chance.

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Hinamatsuri

 

Oh, look! Another shit that looks promising. I was honestly expecting something along the lines of Barakamon (because asking for Usagi Drop would just be too much), but, for now, it seems like the main characters’ relationship is not the focal point. Okay, I’m not gonna be mean, there’s not a lot of place for development in 3 episodes, but I’m really curious to see where everything will lead. However, I do find it weird that, so far, there’s no focus. Not their relationship, not Hina, not her friend, not their power. WHAT IS IT GOING TO BE, FEEL.? HOW ARE YOU GOING TO ENTERTAIN ME?

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That’s it. That’s everything I could find to actually want to watch. Additionally, I might end up giving a shot to Comic Girls, Real Girl and My Sweet Tyrant? I’ve seen some pretty fucked up screenshots of it and you know I can’t say no to something ridiculously bad.

Guys. Please. If you find any good series this season that is not a sequel, please help a brotha’ out and let me know. I will pay you back in memes.